Parenting is a journey full of highs, lows, and everything in between. But when you’re parenting a neurodivergent, processing-challenged, or emotionally intense child—often referred to as an NPF (neurodiverse, processing-challenged, or feeling-intense) kid—each day can feel like a carefully choreographed dance, one where you’re constantly adjusting the rhythm to keep up with your child’s unique needs. It’s a journey that requires patience, resilience, and a whole lot of love.
For moms trying to navigate this path with poise while maintaining their sanity, the key is balance—choosing your battles, celebrating small wins, and embracing the beautifully unpredictable moments that come with raising a child who experiences the world differently.
Here’s what a typical day might look like when parenting an NPF child, along with some tips for making it through with grace (and maybe even a little humor).
Morning: The Wake-Up Battle
Mornings in an NPF household can be… unpredictable. Some days your child might wake up ready to go, full of boundless energy. Other days, getting them out of bed feels like trying to wake a hibernating bear—only the bear also has sensory sensitivities and a strong preference for a specific pair of socks that are nowhere to be found.
Common Challenges:
- Resistance to transitions (getting out of bed, getting dressed, eating breakfast).
- Sensory sensitivities (scratchy clothing, strong food textures, or bright morning light).
- Anxiety about the day ahead (especially if school or a change in routine is involved).
Survival Tips:
- Create a morning routine that works for them. Some kids need extra time to wake up gradually, while others do better with a clear, structured checklist.
- Offer choices. Instead of “Put your clothes on now,” try “Do you want to wear the blue or green shirt today?”
- Use visuals. A morning routine chart with pictures can help them feel more in control.
- Pick your battles. If they want to wear their pajamas under their clothes, is it really worth the meltdown?
Mid-Morning: Getting Out the Door
Just when you think you’ve conquered the morning routine, it’s time for the next challenge: getting out the door.
Common Challenges:
- Last-minute delays (looking for a favorite toy, needing to go to the bathroom again).
- Meltdowns triggered by unexpected changes.
- Difficulty with shoes, coats, or backpacks (because nothing feels right today).
Survival Tips:
- Give time warnings. Instead of saying, “We need to go now,” try, “We’re leaving in 10 minutes—do you need help finding your shoes?”
- Create a goodbye ritual. A secret handshake, a hug, or a silly phrase can make transitions easier.
- Use a checklist or timer. Some kids respond well to knowing exactly what’s next.
Afternoon: The After-School Decompression
School can be overwhelming for NPF kids. By the time they get home, they might be overstimulated, exhausted, or emotionally drained. This often leads to what’s known as after-school restraint collapse—where they hold it together all day, only to fall apart once they’re home.
Common Challenges:
- Immediate meltdowns over seemingly minor things.
- Refusal to talk about their day.
- Sensory overload or need for deep pressure/input.
Survival Tips:
- Give them space. Some kids need a quiet break before talking or engaging with family.
- Offer a snack and a calming activity. Something predictable and comforting (a weighted blanket, favorite book, or a sensory bin) can help them regulate.
- Avoid questions right away. Instead of “How was your day?” try “I’m so happy to see you. Let me know when you’re ready to chat.”
Evening: Homework and Dinner Time
Evenings can be another battle zone, with homework resistance, sensory sensitivities around food, and the challenge of keeping everyone on track when you’re already running low on patience.
Common Challenges:
- Homework refusal or difficulty focusing.
- Food aversions and picky eating.
- Trouble transitioning to bedtime.
Survival Tips:
- Break homework into small chunks. Use timers, movement breaks, or even let them do homework in a non-traditional way (like lying on the floor).
- Keep meals simple and stress-free. Offer a variety of safe foods without forcing them to eat everything.
- Use bedtime rituals. Predictable steps (bath, story, quiet time) help signal that the day is winding down.
Nighttime: Finally, Some Quiet (Maybe)
Once the kids are in bed, you may finally have a moment to breathe. Some nights, they’ll fall asleep quickly, and you can enjoy a quiet cup of tea. Other nights, they’ll need reassurance, extra cuddles, or a few rounds of “just one more story.”
Self-Care for Moms:
- Celebrate small wins. If bedtime was smoother than usual, acknowledge it.
- Give yourself grace. If the day was hard, remind yourself that you did your best.
- Find your own decompression ritual. Whether it’s reading, watching your favorite show, or just sitting in silence, take time to recharge.
Final Thoughts: Finding Joy in the Chaos
Parenting an NPF child is a rollercoaster. Some days are filled with progress and beautiful moments of connection. Other days, it feels like all you do is manage meltdowns and navigate sensory landmines. But through it all, remember:
- You are not alone. There are other moms out there walking this same journey, celebrating the same small wins and facing the same struggles.
- You are doing an incredible job. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, your love and effort make a difference.
- Your child is amazing just as they are. Their unique way of experiencing the world is something to be embraced, even when it makes life challenging.
So, take a deep breath, mama. Pour yourself a cup of coffee (or wine). And know that even on the hardest days, you are enough. ❤️