Dear Mom,
Before we start, take a deep breath. Yes, seriously – inhale deeply, let your lungs fill with air, and slowly let it out again. One more time – In and then out. Good. Now let’s talk, just you and me, mom to mom, heart to heart.
I know you are tired. That kind of tired that doesn’t go away by sleeping. I know there are moments when you look at the chaos around you – laundry that piles and multiplies (is it breeding?), meals that need planning, deadlines at work, forms from school/kindergarten, tantrums galore, and a thousand other invisible things – and wonder “am I doing enough?”
Some days, those whispers grow louder, right? Taunting you, making you compare yourself to other moms who seem to have everything together. But I am here to tell you something you might need to hear today:
You are enough!
Let me explain why, in case it slipped your mind.
The Myth of the Perfect Mom
Society loves and seems to thrive on myths, and motherhood is no exception. Social media bombards us with images of ‘perfect moms’ – the ones with immaculate homes, gourmet meals every night, thriving side hustles, and children who look a bit Stepford. All this makes it easy to believe this is the standard we should meet.
But here’s the truth no one lets slip: that version of motherhood is a mirage. It is made up.
Behind every filtered post is a mom who struggles in her own way. That birthday party straight out of Pinterest? It probably came with stress, tears, and a kitchen in chaos. The mom who seems to be able to do it all? She has her own moments of doubt and frustration.
There’s no universal blueprint or checklist for what makes up a “good mom.” The only one who gets to decide what that looks like is you.
Your Love Is Enough
Because it is like this, your kid doesn’t need a mom who has everything figured out. What they do need is YOU, the real, imperfect human you.
You see, kids have this uncanny ability to spot authenticity. They don’t care if dinner is made from scratch or take-out if the house is spotless or looks like a toy bomb went off, or if their birthday cake is from a box mix. What they’ll remember is that time you hugged them after a bad dream, you made silly jokes and laughed together, or when you showed up to their school functions or sports events and cheered them on.
Your love—messy, imperfect, and all-encompassing —is the foundation of their world. They don’t need perfection. They just need you to be present.
Motherhood Isn’t Meant to Be Done Alone
Somewhere in the slip of time, many moms started believing that motherhood was a one-woman sport. That the weight of the mental load—planning, worrying, organizing—is resting solely on your shoulders and that asking for help and support is to admit to failure.
But motherhood was never meant to be a solo endeavor.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, lean on your village. No matter if it is your partner, a trusted friend, a neighbor, or even an online community, reach out. Let others step up and share the load.
And if you feel like your village is distant or non-existent, start building one. Join mom groups, reconnect with old friends, or simply allow yourself to be vulnerable with your struggles. You might be surprised that you are not alone and that many other moms are looking for the same connection.
It’s Okay to Prioritize Yourself
Here’s a radical thought (are you ready?): You matter, too. (I told you it was radical)
I know it is easy to go all in when it comes to motherhood and lose yourself. Been there, done that, and trying to recover. Days blur together, and everyone else’s needs seem more important. But here’s the thing—taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s just as important, almost vital.
When you put your well-being first, you’re teaching your kids a very important lesson: self-care is important. Even if it is just 15 minutes stolen from your day so you can read a book, go for a walk, journal, or just sit quietly with a hot beverage, those moments matter. They recharge you, filling you up to be able to go again.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Want some quick tips on squeezing in self-care in the mornings?
Celebrate the Small Wins
Motherhood can make it feel like the small things don’t deserve to be celebrated. But if you loo,k you have tiny victories every day. Getting your kid to eat a vegetable, surviving on no sleep or even making it through the day without crying – these are wins.
It is so easy to only see what is left undone, but take a moment to acknowledge what you have done, what you have finished. Celebrate those small wins even if they seem trivial and not important.
Your journey is built on these little moments of triumph. They’re proof of your resilience, strength, and love.
Let Go of the Guilt
Mom guilt is a shadow few of us can get away from. It sneaks up on you when you are at work and misses a school event or when you are home but keep being distracted by thoughts of all the unfinished work.
But here’s the thing: guilt doesn’t make you a better mom. It only drains your energy and clouds any joy you have.
You are allowed to be human. To have bad days, to make mistakes, and to set boundaries. Your worth as a mom isn’t measured by how much you do but by the love and effort you pour into your family.
The Beauty of Imperfection
One day, your kids will grow up and start to reflect on their childhood. And do you know something? As we mentioned earlier, they won’t remember the spotless floors or perfect lunches. They’ll remember the warmth and security of your hugs, the sound of your laughter, and the way you made them feel by just being you.
Imperfection is what makes motherhood real and beautiful. Embrace it.
A Letter to Your Future Self
Imagine yourself five, ten, or twenty years into the future. You look back at these chaotic, exhausting, beautiful years of motherhood. What will you remember most?
Will it be the moments you felt you were failing? Probably not. It’ll be the bedtime snuggles, the laughs, the milestones, and maybe even the chaos.
Write a letter to that future self. Remind her of the love you poured into your family, the lessons you have learned, and the strength you found. Let it be a reminder of how far you’ve come.
You Are Enough
So, Mom, the next time the doubts start to seep in, remember this:
You are enough because you show up.
You are enough because you care.
You are enough because your love is the bedrock of your family.
This journey called motherhood isn’t about being perfect; it’s about connection, resilience, and love. And in those things, you are more than enough.
With love and admiration,
Helena